Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Poop-de-doop

a letter of apology,
which I delivered to kind strangers
who live in my neighbourhood


As my Rose walked by
this morning, she did spy
the perfect place to do
her stinky greyhound poo.

She left it on your lawn
at six o'clock this morn.
I reached into my pouch,
full of poo-bags, I would vouch.

Alas! Gosh darn it! F#@k!
See, I was out of luck—
Whichever way I'd stare,
the pouch was, sadly, bare.

And so began my caper.
Right then, I spied your paper
in a tidy plastic wrap,
just perfect for her crap.

I opened it with joy,
as if it were a toy
and I were still a child.
(My, isn't my life wild?)

I laid your news back down
neatly on the ground
next to your front right tyre.
(I thieve, but I'm no liar.)

Now, with my hand in plastic,
and feeling quite fantastic
(and perhaps a bit absurd),
I gathered up that turd.

I realised, with regret,
your paper might get wet
or blown around by wind,
but I could not rescind.

I checked around the place
so as not to leave a trace.
Then we resumed our jog
with our little bag of bog.

Sorry, thank you, and I hope your newspaper didn't get damp or windblown!
:) Tamyka Bell


The legend of the poop poem

Once we got back home,
I started work on a poem.
I tidied my first draft
(so I wouldn’t feel too daft).

Then carefully hand-wrote
the poop-dog poem. This note
I dropped in their mail box
(and saved a copy in Docs).

A couple of days went past,
then messages came fast
from lots of friendly folks: 
some sheilas and some blokes.

‘You’re famous, take a look—
your poem is on Facebook!’
‘Hey, it’s on Twitter, too—
your poem about the poo!'

So there, in all its glory
is the rest of my story
of how one untimely shit
turned into such a hit.

About this piece

I think all the detail is in there. I wrote this and dropped it in their letterbox the same afternoon. It appeared on Facebook the next day, much appreciated by the recipient. Poop-de-doop and The legend of the poop poem were both first published on Medium.com.
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